by Rhiannon Lasrado
And if you take anything away from this article, let it be that there are some crazy people on the Internet.
Every now and then, the
Illuminati come up as a topic in the media, usually referencing a celebrity or
two as a member. They do evil things, have a lot of money and are a big secret
that everyone seems to know about. But who are the Illuminati? Isn’t it all
just a big rumour?
It is reported that its members
control the modern world – from finances to religion to politics – all with the
intent of creating a New World Order: a one-world authoritarian government in
which they rule. The conspiracy would have us believe that the world’s most
powerful and wealthy people are members: Obama, the Pope, Lady Gaga, Jay Z.
Their alleged deeds include assassinating Whitney Houston and JFK, worshipping
Satan and just generally being mysterious. They use numbers (3, 6, 9, 11, 13
and multiples… so most numbers) and symbols, such as the All-Seeing Eye, the
pyramid, the head of goats and of course, the satanic pentagram. Thus, when
celebrities flash the triangle sign, albeit counter intuitively, considering
the secrecy of this elite organisation, conspiracy theories spring to life.
Beyoncé
We all saw the Super Bowl
performance in which Beyoncé looked alarmingly possessed. Even more worrying, the
power went out in the entire stadium moments after she made the triangle
symbol. Sure her husband Jay Z’s record label utilises a diamond symbol as its
signifier - Beyoncé could have been advertising his Roc-A-Fella records… But
then her child is called Blue Ivy, which obviously translates to “Born Living
Under Evil, Illuminati’s Very Youngest”. In fact, I’m pretty sure you get the
number 666 when corresponding the letters of the alphabet to numbers
(2+17+21+5+9+22+25=101) and adding 565.
The Royal Family
According to the conspiracy, it
is no coincidence that Whitney Houston’s death coincided with the Queen’s
Golden Jubilee – she was sacrificed in celebration (and to make room for Blue
Ivy). This is fairly plausible given that I’m told Queen Elizabeth is high up
in the hierarchy. Furthermore, William and Kate are apparently twelfth cousins,
once removed. Their marriage is clearly a desperate attempt to maintain the
elitist nature of the Illuminati. Finally, and perhaps most shocking of all,
Prince Charles is blood type O. Now we all know that people with this blood
type contain some reptile DNA, linking him directly to reptilian-human hybrid
lines (reptilian gods, if you will) that form the organisation in their
malevolent, serpentine manner.
Pope Francis
Pope Francis was selected on the
13th March 2013 at 8:13 local time – that’s a lot of 13s. He has a
master’s degree in Chemistry (according to the internet, this is a sure sign
that there is something strange about him). The curtains behind him were shaped
like a triangle on the particular day that this photo was taken. I rest my case.
In conclusion, the Illuminati are
everywhere. We must remain vigilant to their numbers, symbols and reptiles.
They are Satanists with the sole intention of plunging humanity into a
worldwide fascist regime. In fact, it may be too late. Their people figure in
politics, the monarchy, religion and entertainment… It is only a matter of time.
And if you take anything away from this article, let it be that there are some crazy people on the Internet.
Sources:
Comments
Post a Comment
Comments with names are more likely to be published.